We had just got over with our 3rd-semester Mechanical engineering papers. It had been a hectic week, rushing from one room to another trying to understand the syllabus in bits and pieces, fluid mechanics part from Kunal, mechanical design from Rohit, running to photocopy shops to get hold of toppers short notes for a quick revision, memorizing even the calculations of probable questions, but finally, it was over. In IITs, only 2 phases are full of anxiety- the exam week and the day of results.
Exams had got over at 5 PM, and we could be found buying beer at the nearest wine shop at sharp 5.10 PM. It was December winter in Delhi, it had become dusky too early. I, Mohak, and Kunal stepped to the hostel terrace with a bag, containing 11 cans,3 each for me and Amit, and 5 for Kunal.
The intermittent cool breeze and chilled beer after a break of 15 days were no less than a panacea for bruised brains.
But I was not quite relaxed. Taking note of my stiff silence, Mohak interrupted-
‘Hey Arjun, you are looking tense! What’s the issue? Are you tensed about Practicals from next week?’
I nodded my head in disagreement.
Mohak– ‘Is it fear of back papers?’
Kunal stepped in ‘Why fear back papers? Even my fluid didn’t go well. The paper was really tough and Patel’s marking will only diminish my chances of clearing it. I will give you company next year.’
Patel was our Fluid Mech teacher, who didn’t believe in giving marks for steps.
I knew that Kunal seriously wished for me to fail the paper.
I – ‘Na, nothing like that, my paper was good. It’s something else.’
Mohak– ‘Something else? What else Arjun?’
I – ‘Actually it’s Nazia’.
Mohak– ‘ What happened to her now?’
Kunal– ‘ Nazia? Now who is she?’.
Kunal did not know about Nazia, even Mohak had just heard of her. I had met Nazia Khan first time during the Class 10th farewell ceremony, she happened to be a friend of classmate Amrita Singhal and had visited our school on the last day. We had met only thrice in life over a short span of a month, just after my board exam. Since then, we had been in touch only through our phones. My one-sided school infatuation had blossomed into a two-sided love story with time.
I– ‘Nothing happened, it’s just that she has been insisting to visit her this weekend, she is all alone, her parents have gone to Surat at her brother’s home.’
Mohak– ‘ Doesn’t she live in Kanpur? And this weekend has already started.’
Kunal-‘ Now will anyone tell me who is this new character Nazia?’
Mohak– “Don’t u know Nazia? The same girl he keeps talking about, whom he met more than 3 years ago in school and fell for.”
Kunal– “3 years back ! That’s a long time”.
Soaked in love,I replied-
‘Yes, almost 3 generations have passed since we met last. We have been in touch only through texts and calls”.
Mohak– “ So why the hell are you tensed? Isn’t it great news”.
I –“Bro, she is asking me to visit this weekend, her parents will return on Monday”.
Mohak –“So, what’s the issue?”
I– “What about my practicals on Monday, only 2 days left, Kanpur is a full 8 hours journey.”
By the final gulp of the beer, my friends Mohak and Kunal had convinced me that it was a golden opportunity to visit her that weekend and no one knew when such a time would come again.
I took a loan of 5000 bucks from Mohak, and a new chocolate brown jacket from Kunal.
By 9 PM the same night, I was standing outside Paharganj railway station. It was Saturday. And I had my practicals from Monday.
By 10.30 PM I managed to make my way into the general coach of Purushottam express. Found a place to be seated by the leg of a grumpy old man, who wouldn’t miss an opportunity to stretch his legs more than its length, but I was determined not to leave the berth till I reach Kanpur.
I reached Kanpur early morning, around 5 am. Nazia had nicely explained the location on call the previous night, it was somewhere on the outskirts of the city, in a telecom colony in the Lakhanpur area of Kanpur.
After an hour of the auto ride, I reached Lakhanpur telecom colony, it was still dark. The auto guy dropped me at the colony gate, after 5 minutes of walking, as dictated by Nazia on the live call, I was standing outside the gate of her dimly lit apartment, all other apartments were dark.
I knocked on the door. Didn’t hear a sound for the next few moments. Took out the phone from my pocket to call Nazia, and her phone rang. But the sound of the ring was not from the inside of the apartment, it was ringing on the apartment staircase, just behind me. As soon as I turned back, the door of the apartment opened and someone whispered- ‘Hello Arjun, why are you staring at the stairs, am here’.
Surprised, I turned back towards the door again.
The most beautiful girl alive in the world, Nazia Khan was standing at the gate, dressed in a green suit and a black and orange polka dot dupatta, and a hijab. I was seeing her after 3 long years of my life, overflowing with emotions of love and anxiety. I stepped inside the flat and could feel the fresh aroma emanating from Nazia’s body, wanted to hug her but didn’t.
Her face too brightened after seeing me, inner happiness had increased the glow of her cheeks. Truckloads of strawberries squeezed into one jar would not be able to compete with her smiling red lips.
.I couldn’t find any furniture or other amenities except a chair on which she asked me to sit after handing over a winter shawl. It was a chilling December morning. After a brief lovely chat with emotions oozing out of both, she went to the other room for morning Namaz. She returned with a cup of tea in her hand.
But then, she was looking very reserved, silent this time. I asked her whether it was my presence which made her uncomfortable. She simply nodded negatively and asked what would I have for breakfast. I said anything which was easy for her, she replied ‘cornflakes’.
After having my breakfast, she took me to her bedroom, which was almost empty except for a ground bed, a blanket, and a huge wooden cupboard.
She asked me to rest on the bed. She too sat on the bed on the other side and slid her legs inside the blanket and told me to cover myself too. I was hesitant in sharing a blanket with her, had never been with her all alone, inside a room. Judging my hesitation, Nazia said that there was another blanket too, but it was in the cupboard and I could have it if I wanted. I told her that the shawl and her presence were enough to keep me warm. She lay on the bed with her back leaning against the wall, I started turning the pages of her books.
Nazia-‘ Why are you turning the pages? It’s medical science, as alien to you as your engineering books to me.
I smiled in agreement.
I did not realize how fast the most beautiful day of my life was passing talking to her, and the clock struck 2 PM.
Nazia hurriedly got up from the bed and said-
‘I forgot that I have given an appointment to some patients, I need to visit the college.’
I– ‘Can’t you postpone it to tomorrow? I just don’t want to miss these moments, I have to return by evening, I have my practicals tomorrow, and you know how big a risk I took, just for you Nazia’.
Thoughtful for a few moments, Nazia replied-
‘Arjun I understand your every word, but you did not confirm your visit till late evening yesterday and so I gave the appointments, and some of these patients travel from distant villages, so it will be very unfair to not attend them.
But you don’t need to worry, I will try to be back within an hour. Even am eager to spend time together, maybe more than you are.
Nazia dressed in seconds and left the apartment, but not before locking the door from outside. The reason she gave was that neighbors might knock on the door and become suspicious if I don’t open it, and it would be nothing less than Qayamat in case I opened the door and someone saw a stranger at her flat. I agreed with her.
As soon as she left, I thought of having some sound sleep as the nightlong journey was tiring. Woke up at 6 pm, and Nazia had not yet arrived. I tried to reach her on her cellphone, but the number was not reachable.
I spent some time going through her old slam books, albums, cupboard, and drawers. Everything in the house was covered with a dense layer of dust and smelled of wood.
I had not noticed the huge spider webs, probably enchanted by Nazia when she was in the house. The house looked uncleaned for more than months. At the back of my mind, the phone ring sound from the staircase in the dawn when I had knocked on the door was bewildering me. How did the sound come from the staircase when Nazia was inside the apartment?
Thinking about all that, I went to the bathroom and opened the tap to wash my face, but surprisingly, there was no water in the tap. On putting some pressure on the valve, a few muddy drops fell, as if no one had used it for ages and dirt had accumulated.
But how was it possible? Nazia went to take bath in the morning, and her wet hair locks were still fresh in front of my eyes, how could it be possible if there was no water in the bathroom?
I went to the drawing room and removed the huge wall curtains to get a glimpse of the outside. A layer of dust had settled on the window panes, and it was completely dark, the only view I could get was a mirror image of mine on those glass panes.
I called Nazia once again, but her number was still not reachable. Even after multiple calls, she didn’t take the call. My phone switched off as the battery drained. I plugged in the charger but the board had no electricity.
I was getting exponentially worried by then, the clock was already showing 8 PM, and there I was locked up inside an apartment about 700 km far away from my exam center in my college in Delhi, with practical exams the day after. Time was running out, so I made up my mind to somehow exit the apartment. I peeped outside the window, it was densely dark, only the sound of crickets could be heard, no sign of any neighbor and all flats were dark.
Since the main door was locked by Nazia, I decided to get out from the backdoor which I had discovered while roaming across the apartment, it was not locked from the outside. As soon as I moved towards the backdoor, I heard a loud bang on the main door. I rushed towards the door and it was all wide open. I thought Nazia had returned, but no sign of her presence could be found.No one was there.
I had lost my mind to make sense of anything, fear had gripped my mind, had already started repenting my journey and cursing Mohak and Kunal. I hurriedly picked up my bag and rushed down the dark shabby staircase. Exactly then, I heard the ring of Nazia’s phone again on the stairs. I paused, looked back, and saw a pale shadow rush inside the apartment.
I didn’t waste a moment and ran faster than lightning to reach the open yard outside her apartment.
I could hear the Azaan sound from a nearby mosque as I made my way toward the main exit of the telecom colony.
I hastily walked out of the colony to a nearby grocery shop. I asked the store owner for a cigarette. I had never been a smoker. It was just to buy some time so that I could enquire him about Nazia, I had guessed that he might be knowing about colony residents.
I asked him-
“ When does Nazia return? I had brought some assignments she had asked for ?”
Before the helper could murmur something, the shop owner stepped ahead and asked -“ Who Nazia?”.
Taking the puff I pointed towards her apartment.
Bewildered, he asked-“ When did she ask you for the assignment”.
I replied- “In the morning”.
He– “Have you gone mad? Nazia committed suicide last year after the “incident” by jumping from the balcony. Her family has moved to the station area since then. Just get lost”.
That was unbelievable! Shocked, shattered, and unbelieving, I walked gradually towards the bus stop.
With thousands of questions in my mind,I didn’t realize when did I reach Delhi the next morning. Had my exams from 10 AM. Didn’t share the story with anyone, no one would have believed me anyway. The questions in my mind had been haunting me more than the experience the day before.
Whom had I been talking to for so long if not Nazia?
Who was I in love with all this long?
Who was the one who welcomed me in the morning if not Nazia?
Why was the apartment so vacant?
Why did she not return?
Who unlocked the gate?
It was none but Nazia herself, at least I believed so.
After a few days, I enquired about the “incident” that the shopkeeper had told me about. I had to dig through the years-old newspapers of Kanpur and finally found news about the suicide of a girl named Nazia. I did not believe that the story was about my Nazia, might have been someone else, there are thousands of Nazias in the world.
I believed my Nazia more than those newspapers. I knew she was not the one who committed suicide. She was there, somewhere around, whom I loved.
Years have passed, and I dial her number occasionally, to hear the same message again and again –
“The number is not reachable”.
She will receive the call someday, she will answer why she did not return from college that day, why did she leave her Arjun locked up inside that apartment, what happened to her, who unlocked the gate, and where was she all this time.