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Pakadwa Vivah, also known as “groom kidnapping” or “marriage by abduction”, is a startling practice predominantly found in Bihar, India. This bizarre tradition, emerging as a fallout of the dowry custom, has been prevalent since the late 20th century, particularly among upper castes like the Bhumihars. It gained notoriety in the 1980s as a direct consequence of the prohibitive costs associated with dowry, a deeply rooted social evil despite being illegal for over five decades under the Dowry Prohibition Act of 1961.
The practice typically involves the abduction of eligible bachelors, often those who are well-educated or have lucrative government jobs, by families who cannot afford the high dowries demanded. These young men are then forcibly married, frequently at gunpoint, and sometimes after being physically coerced. The ceremonies often take place with a rope tied around the groom’s waist to prevent escape and are usually backed by the support of the bride’s family and villagers. In some cases, professional criminals are hired for the abduction, making the practice even more perilous and daunting.
This tradition is not only a reflection of the desperation engendered by the dowry system but also an indicator of the societal acceptance of such practices in certain regions. Despite its illegal status, these marriages often go unreported and continue under the threat of violence. In fact, a significant number of these forced marriages are known to endure.
Remarkably, Bihar witnessed a staggering number of over 3,000 groom kidnappings for marriage in 2016 alone, a number that has been on the rise in recent years. The state leads in the country for abductions of males aged 18 to 30, primarily for the purpose of forced marriage. This practice, while brutal, is often viewed as a practical solution to the dowry problem by many within the society, with some cases even leading to eventual reconciliation between the families involved.
The phenomenon of Pakaruah Vivah has also been captured in popular culture, with movies and TV series depicting this practice, reflecting its deep-rooted presence in certain parts of Indian society.
Inter-caste Nature of Forced Marriages
This phenomenon predominantly occurs within the same caste, reflecting the caste-based societal structure of the region. In Bihar, caste plays a significant role in social and cultural interactions, and this extends to the practice of groom kidnapping.
In these kidnappings, the selection of the groom is far from random. Typically, the kidnappers, who are often from the bride’s family or their intermediaries, have prior knowledge of the boy’s family. They are well-informed about the boy’s background, including details about his family, their wealth, and his occupation. This careful selection process ensures that the boy is deemed suitable and eligible for the kidnappers’ daughter.
The decision to resort to kidnapping often comes after previous attempts at arranging a marriage have failed. In many instances, the girl’s parents would have already approached the boy’s family to propose an alliance. However, these negotiations frequently collapse due to exorbitant dowry demands. It’s in the aftermath of these failed talks that the bride’s family, driven by desperation and the societal pressure to marry their daughter within their caste, chooses the extreme step of kidnapping as a means to secure a groom.
Process of Kidnapping
In the practice of Pakaruah Vivah, the girl’s side employs strategic measures to understand the nature and character of the potential groom before proceeding with the abduction. This process is critical in ensuring that the chosen man is suitable for the bride in terms of temperament and character.
One of the key methods employed involves monitoring and interacting with the targeted individual during his travels. This could be on trains, buses, or other public transportation modes. Members of the bride’s family, or people hired by them, might initiate conversations with the young man, posing as strangers. These journey-long interactions provide an opportunity to evaluate the man’s personality, behavior, and potentially his values and beliefs.
Additionally, the kidnappers often use these travel opportunities to finalize their plans for the abduction. They meticulously observe the young man’s routines and habits during these trips. Locations like hotels or hostels, especially in towns the boy might be visiting, become crucial settings for the actual act of kidnapping. It’s often in these places, where the boy might be away from his usual environment and support system, that the kidnappers find it easier to execute their plan.
Marriage by Traditions, Consummation and Aftermath
Once a man is kidnapped in the Pakaruah Vivah practice, the marriage is conducted with all traditional rituals and customs. The ceremony includes a proper feast, much like a typical wedding. The secrecy surrounding the event is tight; only close relatives are aware of the abduction, keeping it hidden from the wider community until the marriage rites are completed.
After the marriage, the groom is confined to a room with the bride, and there is a strong emphasis on consummating the marriage. The family keeps a close watch on the groom to prevent any escape attempts. If the groom tries to flee, he may face mild physical punishment. This confinement and the insistence on consummation serve a dual purpose: ensuring the marriage is legally binding and creating societal pressure for the groom’s family to accept the union.
Once the marriage is consummated, the newlyweds are sent to the groom’s family home, following traditional customs, complete with sweets and gifts. The existence of marriage evidence, such as photographs and videos, leaves the groom’s family with little choice but to accept the girl as their daughter-in-law. The consummation of the marriage is a critical aspect, as it plays into societal norms and expectations, attaching a stigma to both the bride and groom if the marriage is not recognized. This stigma pressures the groom’s family into acceptance, effectively sealing the marriage.
This entire process is meticulously planned and executed, showcasing the lengths to which families go to ensure a marriage, influenced by societal pressures and the challenges posed by traditional customs and the dowry system.
